During my life, I experienced many hard times - serious illness in the family, several losses, betrayals, toxic and abusive relationships and years of chronic health issues. On the one hand they made me very empathetic; I feel people strongly. But on the other, they made me protect myself too much. I built an armor around my heart and learned to be “strong” in a way that wasn’t actually healthy.

I grew up hearing that I should never depend on a man. So I became the strong, independent woman who carries everything alone. People even admired me for it - how many hits I could take and still keep going, how much I could carry, how hard I could work and push myself beyond my limits. But little did they know - and even I didn’t - how much I actually needed to be seen and held. To rest for a while. To be enough without constant performance.

Maybe because a part of me unconsciously wanted to help myself, I always had the desire to help others. I studied social work and for a very long time wanted to be a psychologist. But for years I didn’t understand one simple thing: I needed to start with myself. My body and mind had been asking for attention for a long time, but I was running too fast and too far to listen.

My healing began after the last man in my family - the one I could rely on, who loved me wholeheartedly - passed away. It was the moment I realised I was truly left alone, without any real man around. That period broke me open, and for the first time, I thought: maybe this is not how I want to keep living for the rest of my life.

Because of my health issues - I had just gone through an operation - I started meeting with a psychosomatic therapist, a feminine guide. Meeting her was absolutely essential for my next steps. She created a safe space where I could actually feel. For the first time in my life, I didn’t run away from my emotions. I sat with them.

And so my awakening began.
I cried every day.
Layer by layer, I started seeing how much I had been holding inside - and how my health issues were simply my emotions begging, through my body, to be felt.

I started slowing down, listening to my body, living in honour of my cycle and reconnecting with myself.

Around the same time, I discovered Goddess worship and the divine feminine/masculine concept through my online Femdom work. At the beginning it was just a theory - but soon it became part of my healing.

I changed my life dramatically, starting basically from scratch. And as I changed, my energy changed too. I began meeting more men who embodied healthy masculinity - that steady, safe energy and a big heart not afraid to be expressed. And the more men like that I met, the more I wanted it. Not just for myself, but for other women. And for men too - so they can be whole, seen and loved in both their strength and their softness.

And I know how hard that can be - even as a woman. During my healing I often felt weak and lazy. Learning to be and love my feminine wasn’t easy at first. I felt like I was failing. And for men, who are expected to never show emotions, embracing their soft side can be even harder.

But the more I saw of the beauty of a man with a big heart, the more I wanted to support them in their wholness and full expression.

For a while I preached Goddess worship in Femdom and this journey was beautiful. It taught me so much about sacred surrender, psychosexuality, human shadow and also about myself. But after a while, it simply didn’t fit me anymore. The space felt too tight, too performative, too far from who I actually am. I felt called to walk a different path - the path of the High Priestess - supported by my first retreat, where I decided to step fully into my potential and become a medicine woman.

So I chose to create something of my own - a space that feels safe and supportive. A place where men can grow, take off their armor and reconnect with both their strength and their softness.

I stepped into the High Priestess role as a path that naturally formed from everything I lived.

And I’m still learning and growing. I continue studying Shakti/Kundalini, energy work, tantra, somatic work…not to “become” something, but to remember who I’ve always been.

Because the truth is…I didn’t always live what I teach now. Actually, for most of my life I lived the opposite. But I teach it because it’s my own story. I know how it feels to suppress emotions, push yourself beyond limits, feel lonely and run - from yourself.

But I also know what happens when you finally decide to listen.

Maybe in the end, this isn’t only my story or your story. Maybe it’s about all of us - returning home, whole.